When the working mom must travel...

During the first three months of this year, I have traveled on business a lot. I also anticipate that I will travel a little more than I had in the past. For me, there are so many anxieties that go along with traveling. But don’t get me wrong….I LOVE going on business trips.

Growing up and until the last few years, I have always been an introvert. I have started to come out of my introverted ways and learn to become more extroverted through some life lessons. Oftentimes I am afraid of my own shadow. I tend to be afraid to try new things, meet new people, and get outside my comfort zone. When I chose my career, I had no idea that I was going to have to force myself outside of who I was comfortable being in order to attain my goals. Anytime I spoke in front of a group of people about business topics or in meetings, my voice would be shaky and I would get sweaty, hot, red – not pretty at all. Assertiveness has always been challenging for me. Before I leave for a business trip, I get very nervous. I feel as if I’m about to go on a roller coaster ride for the first time. And I love roller coasters. But every time I ride one, I still feel nervous. That is part of the appeal. Getting the butterflies, knowing what to expect but not being certain if I can handle it. It is really scary for me to embark on these trips. Especially to go alone. I am more comfortable having a “wingman” (or woman) that will bring me along, take me under their wing, and introduce me to people. Recently, I was passed up for a promotion because I tend more to sit in the shadows of others rather than assert myself. Well, that was enough to push me away from my fears because I want more for myself than I have in my career. Sure, I am told that I am a valued employee with strong skills (blah, blah, blah). But I have realized that if I want opportunities, no matter how much people appreciate me and respect me in my roll, I have to create those opportunities for myself. In order to create those opportunities, I have to travel a bit.

When I go, I have to trust that things will run the way they should. I have to hope that Shane will not struggle too much without me. I worry that things will not be taken care of properly. Because as most moms know, when mom is gone things just don’t run as smoothly. We love dads, but men aren’t really known for their homemaking or multi-tasking capabilities (I know there are exceptions!). I also usually have to have my wonderful mother-in-law come in to help and if she can’t, I have to hire someone to help our family in my absence. When I return, if everyone survived my absence and the house isn’t turned upside down then I’m happy.

Women often face difficult choices between family and career. We make a lot of sacrifices in our careers for our family and sometimes we must sacrifice a few things in our family for the career. But given the choice, women will often choose family first because it is our nature. I like to think I can have it all. I like to think that I don’t have to sacrifice anything, that I can have the best of both worlds. Very naïve of me, I know. But, I still face those choices often and I am fortunate to work for a company that believes in the “Family First” philosophy. At the end of the day, my career is important to my family. What continue to build for myself in my career has also built some levels of comfort in our home that we would not enjoy without it. So I may have to sacrifice a few things with the family in order to provide for my family, at the same time I get to enjoy what I am doing as well. I am very fortunate to have a supportive family who wants to see me succeed and fortunate to have such a fun career where I can have incredible opportunities for myself.

March 19, 2010

I often wonder how a stay-at-home mom survives. I often hear from stay-at-home mom's that they don't know how a working mom survives. Let's face it - neither role is easier than the other. Both roles have many benefits, but many trials as well. Rewards can be many or few - depending on the day. I wanted to write this so I could have an opportunity to share my views as a working mom - and the so many joys and trials that come with it.



I thought of a new saying tonight - "Life is about how many balls you can juggle all at one time."



I think that is an accurate description of my life.



My life, although I wouldn't have it any other way, is chalk full of challenges. I have a 5-year-old boy who is my miracle. In my early twenties, I began to struggle with infertility and after many years of heartbreaking fertility, I decided to focus on my career and build another life for myself since being a mother did not seem to be in my future. Ironic.



I went back to school to complete my Bachelor's in Management. My life went through a period of changes during that time. I ended up divorced, found a new freedom I had never experienced, and ended up pregnant. Many people told me "oh, it's because you stopped trying!" I am here to tell you - that there is no explanation for how I became pregnant, because I have never been able to duplicate it even though I have not been trying as all those genius' suggested.



By the time I had my son, I was sucked into the business world and loved feeling the success. My career was mine - no one else's. And no matter what, no one could take that feeling from me. I wanted it, craved it, and even when my sweet baby boy came into the world, I found myself missing it. I was torn all through maternity leave. I ached to be near my new baby and I ached to be working, driving my career every day. I felt guilty for not being with my son and I felt guilty for not being at work.



Once I was back to work, I found I wanted more than what I had. So, I changed jobs and began hunting for my perfect career move. All the while, I continued to juggle motherhood and make sure that I was a dedicated mother at home. I have learned the fine art of leaving my work at work. When I leave work, I put my "mom" hat on, and I do not bring my work hat home. I think this has been the best decision I have made in regards to my career and my family. But, I never leave my "mom" hat at home. I carry it with me all day because I never know when I may get a call or a text from one of them looking for "mom". Life balance is so important and I am lucky to be part of a company that recognizes that importance.



Over time, I have remarried a wonderful man who supports me in my career and willingly accepts me as the breadwinner - not an easy thing for most men and their egos. Along with my husband came his three children (only two live with us). So much for accpeting that my future did not include motherhood! My life went from crazy to CRAZY overnight and I have not looked back since.



I have many "hats". I am the boss, financial advisor, problem solver, therapist, decision maker, boo-boo kisser, teacher, taxi driver, and ATM. I'm sure there are more - but I can't think of any at the moment. I know that as a working mother, I miss out on some the joys of raising my children - but I take responsibility for my children's education and I make sure I am involved so they know I care. But I also know that I can handle all of the challenges that are a result of being a working mom. I travel quite a bit, but I still manage to make as many of their activities as I possibly can. I attend my meetings and I will rearrange my day in order to attend one of their concerts or school events. I believe I can have it all and I believe my children have the best of me - because I work.



Thank goodness today is over, but I can't wait for tomorrow!