Parenting a challenge

Today is one of those days. Shane has been having horrible days at school for the past month - although it seems like it has been going on for longer. I feel inadequate as a parent, failure as a mom, and completely helpless in finding the answers in how to help my son live a happy, productive life.

He is a smart boy. He is active, strong, and independent. But, he struggle everyday to make the right choices. He struggles every day with following the rules and respecting his authority. I have been called numerous times at work due to his behavioral issues. I just don't know what I am doing wrong or what I am supposed to do right.

I know all parents struggle sometimes, but for me it seems like it has been daily, endless. Shane has been to numerous daycare programs. His father and I divorced when he was only a year old and my current husband and I first began living together when he was still very young. His dad remarried around the same time. Shane has known two fathers his whole life. He also had a stepmother who he knew well. I'm sure that his family ties have been somewhat confusing for him. His dad moved away to California last year. His dad divorced his second wife shortly thereafter. Shane never had a chance to say goodbye. His daycare programs have struggled with his behavior. From the time he was 13 months old, his daycare providers have been at a loss with why he behaves the way that he does. I don't think I have been very good at picking his daycare providers. I think Shane's needs are different from other children. I can't explain it, but he just doesn't seem to have normal behavior issues as other children. His are more extreme.

I hate watching my son struggle. I hate this feeling of not knowing what to do or how to handle this. I struggled for so many years to have a son and I have to wonder why this child was entrusted in my care. He obviously has special needs although I can't seem to pinpoint what those needs are, and I feel completely inadequate in being his mother. I don't know how to be his mother in such a way that will help him succeed in life.