The Great Escape

Home is such a great escape from work, but then again, Work can be a great escape from home. Sometimes, I feel very blessed to have my two worlds where I can escape from one and run to another. Occassionally, I will have a bad day at work and I look forward to coming home where everyone loves me and needs me. Occassionally I will have a bad day at home and look forward to going to work where everyone is happy to have me there. Most of the time it flip-flops and there are those occasional days when I have great days at work and home and other times where I have a bad day at work and at home - those are the hardest days.



Are you completely confused? Don't worry - I get confused a lot. :)



Remember how I said that life can be about juggling as many balls as you possibly can? Well, there are some days at work where all 8 of my employees need me for something and I have to pick and choose who's needs are more important. Inevitably someone gets forgotten about or left out. I hate when that happens because I don't want to let them down. Thank goodness they recognize I am human and can't do it all. At home, it's the same. I'll get home from a day of being pulled in a thousand directions and I come home to my family who also all need something from me. I have the same problem. I want to take care of everyone, but inevitably someone (usually my husband) gets forgotten about or left out. I have to say that it is a nice feeling when everyone wants my attention no matter where I go! As challenging as it is, I think my hardest days are when no one needs my help with something. My days/nights drag and I find myself looking for ANYTHING to do. It's like driving a car at 100mph and coming to a school zone where you have to drive 15mph (in Nevada, that's the law). You are so used to going fast, that the minute you go slow, you tend to count the minutes until you can step on the gas and get back up to 100mph. I forget that in those moments of being forced to move that slowly it gives me an opportunity to look around, enjoy the scenary, take my time, and actually see and hear the things that are going on around me.



My greatest escape of all is when I lie in bed at night and think about all the good things that happened during the day. Somedays it is harder to pick out good things, but if I can think of a success that I had while at work and a success at home, I feel pretty satisfied with my today and I realize just how happy I am to have the life that I do.

Will I ever sleep again??

Here's a question - how many mother's actually get a full 8 hours of sleep?? I think I am lucky if I get a full 5 hours.
You would think that on Saturdays, I could actually sleep until maybe 8am, considering I have to get up at 5am during the week. It's pretty sad when I am excited that I actually got to sleep until 6:30am. Shane is an early riser and no matter how many times I ask him to be quiet in the mornings, he just can't help himself. He has a wonderful imagination and some mornings I wake up to his imaginative games and all the noise that comes with them. It's great having an active child.
I must confess that part of my problem is that there are some really good television shows on these days and some nights I am up until 11pm trying to catch up - usually because I am still working on my "motherly" duties until 9pm. I get home at 4pm from picking up children and I immediately jump into homework and chores. I try to get a workout in, because really I need the stress-reducing exercise. Do kids really need to eat? It takes at least 3 hours per night cooking dinner, cleaning up the dinner mess, and then I start all over making lunches and then I have to clean up the lunch-making mess. Why don't I wait and clean up all at once, you ask? Because I am a crazy, neat freak that can't work in a kitchen unless it is clean. Besides, maybe if they don't eat, they won't grow and then I won't have to keep buying them new clothes every other month. In theory, it's a great idea. But at some point, my son, the human garbage disposal, will have to eat or he will destroy my clean kitchen attempting to feed himself.
Shane and I are having a mommy and me day today. We saw "Alice in Wonderland" this morning and tonight we are going to Claim Jumper for dinner. I asked him where he wanted to go to dinner and he asked to go to the place that has "the really big cheese sticks". Claim Jumper is the only restaurant that serves Mozzarella Cheese the size of your arm. It's nice having a child who chooses a nice restaurant to eat at instead of Chuck E. Cheese or McDonald's.

March 19, 2010

I often wonder how a stay-at-home mom survives. I often hear from stay-at-home mom's that they don't know how a working mom survives. Let's face it - neither role is easier than the other. Both roles have many benefits, but many trials as well. Rewards can be many or few - depending on the day. I wanted to write this so I could have an opportunity to share my views as a working mom - and the so many joys and trials that come with it.



I thought of a new saying tonight - "Life is about how many balls you can juggle all at one time."



I think that is an accurate description of my life.



My life, although I wouldn't have it any other way, is chalk full of challenges. I have a 5-year-old boy who is my miracle. In my early twenties, I began to struggle with infertility and after many years of heartbreaking fertility, I decided to focus on my career and build another life for myself since being a mother did not seem to be in my future. Ironic.



I went back to school to complete my Bachelor's in Management. My life went through a period of changes during that time. I ended up divorced, found a new freedom I had never experienced, and ended up pregnant. Many people told me "oh, it's because you stopped trying!" I am here to tell you - that there is no explanation for how I became pregnant, because I have never been able to duplicate it even though I have not been trying as all those genius' suggested.



By the time I had my son, I was sucked into the business world and loved feeling the success. My career was mine - no one else's. And no matter what, no one could take that feeling from me. I wanted it, craved it, and even when my sweet baby boy came into the world, I found myself missing it. I was torn all through maternity leave. I ached to be near my new baby and I ached to be working, driving my career every day. I felt guilty for not being with my son and I felt guilty for not being at work.



Once I was back to work, I found I wanted more than what I had. So, I changed jobs and began hunting for my perfect career move. All the while, I continued to juggle motherhood and make sure that I was a dedicated mother at home. I have learned the fine art of leaving my work at work. When I leave work, I put my "mom" hat on, and I do not bring my work hat home. I think this has been the best decision I have made in regards to my career and my family. But, I never leave my "mom" hat at home. I carry it with me all day because I never know when I may get a call or a text from one of them looking for "mom". Life balance is so important and I am lucky to be part of a company that recognizes that importance.



Over time, I have remarried a wonderful man who supports me in my career and willingly accepts me as the breadwinner - not an easy thing for most men and their egos. Along with my husband came his three children (only two live with us). So much for accpeting that my future did not include motherhood! My life went from crazy to CRAZY overnight and I have not looked back since.



I have many "hats". I am the boss, financial advisor, problem solver, therapist, decision maker, boo-boo kisser, teacher, taxi driver, and ATM. I'm sure there are more - but I can't think of any at the moment. I know that as a working mother, I miss out on some the joys of raising my children - but I take responsibility for my children's education and I make sure I am involved so they know I care. But I also know that I can handle all of the challenges that are a result of being a working mom. I travel quite a bit, but I still manage to make as many of their activities as I possibly can. I attend my meetings and I will rearrange my day in order to attend one of their concerts or school events. I believe I can have it all and I believe my children have the best of me - because I work.



Thank goodness today is over, but I can't wait for tomorrow!