March 19, 2010

I often wonder how a stay-at-home mom survives. I often hear from stay-at-home mom's that they don't know how a working mom survives. Let's face it - neither role is easier than the other. Both roles have many benefits, but many trials as well. Rewards can be many or few - depending on the day. I wanted to write this so I could have an opportunity to share my views as a working mom - and the so many joys and trials that come with it.



I thought of a new saying tonight - "Life is about how many balls you can juggle all at one time."



I think that is an accurate description of my life.



My life, although I wouldn't have it any other way, is chalk full of challenges. I have a 5-year-old boy who is my miracle. In my early twenties, I began to struggle with infertility and after many years of heartbreaking fertility, I decided to focus on my career and build another life for myself since being a mother did not seem to be in my future. Ironic.



I went back to school to complete my Bachelor's in Management. My life went through a period of changes during that time. I ended up divorced, found a new freedom I had never experienced, and ended up pregnant. Many people told me "oh, it's because you stopped trying!" I am here to tell you - that there is no explanation for how I became pregnant, because I have never been able to duplicate it even though I have not been trying as all those genius' suggested.



By the time I had my son, I was sucked into the business world and loved feeling the success. My career was mine - no one else's. And no matter what, no one could take that feeling from me. I wanted it, craved it, and even when my sweet baby boy came into the world, I found myself missing it. I was torn all through maternity leave. I ached to be near my new baby and I ached to be working, driving my career every day. I felt guilty for not being with my son and I felt guilty for not being at work.



Once I was back to work, I found I wanted more than what I had. So, I changed jobs and began hunting for my perfect career move. All the while, I continued to juggle motherhood and make sure that I was a dedicated mother at home. I have learned the fine art of leaving my work at work. When I leave work, I put my "mom" hat on, and I do not bring my work hat home. I think this has been the best decision I have made in regards to my career and my family. But, I never leave my "mom" hat at home. I carry it with me all day because I never know when I may get a call or a text from one of them looking for "mom". Life balance is so important and I am lucky to be part of a company that recognizes that importance.



Over time, I have remarried a wonderful man who supports me in my career and willingly accepts me as the breadwinner - not an easy thing for most men and their egos. Along with my husband came his three children (only two live with us). So much for accpeting that my future did not include motherhood! My life went from crazy to CRAZY overnight and I have not looked back since.



I have many "hats". I am the boss, financial advisor, problem solver, therapist, decision maker, boo-boo kisser, teacher, taxi driver, and ATM. I'm sure there are more - but I can't think of any at the moment. I know that as a working mother, I miss out on some the joys of raising my children - but I take responsibility for my children's education and I make sure I am involved so they know I care. But I also know that I can handle all of the challenges that are a result of being a working mom. I travel quite a bit, but I still manage to make as many of their activities as I possibly can. I attend my meetings and I will rearrange my day in order to attend one of their concerts or school events. I believe I can have it all and I believe my children have the best of me - because I work.



Thank goodness today is over, but I can't wait for tomorrow!