"Life is a Highway" as the song says....

How much fun would life be if the paths we took was one straight road? No twists, no turns, nothing unexpected. Sometimes I think we all wish we could see straight ahead. There would be no questions about what is to come. There would be no surprises when something unexpected happened because you would be able to see it from a mile away if heading down a straight path. You could plan accordingly because you would know exactly what was coming from miles away. You could mentally prepare, have a plan of attack, develop strategies and have the right tools ready. How much easier would everything be if you could just SEE what was coming? Everything would sure be easier, but would it be any fun to know what’s coming? Maybe “FUN” isn’t the right word….


Unfortunately, life just isn’t that way.

Life is a mountainous road. Yes, a very windy, steep, curvy road. Sometimes there are ups and other times there are downs. Sometimes you come to a turn that requires you to slow down to a very safe speed so you don’t go over the edge.(yikes!) Some see these types of roads “fun”, but they are more often stressful and hard to maneuver through as opposed to “fun”….. At least for me.

When I traveled to Sedona this last summer with the family, there was a road that reminds me so much of my life. Realistically, it was about a 10 mile long road. It took about 45 minutes to travel that part of the highway because of its hair pin turns, steep climbs and dips, and all of the foliage that blocked our view from seeing the road ahead. If I went too fast, I felt like I was putting the family at risk. If I went too slowly, the cars around me would get so annoyed; they would tailgate me until I pulled over to let them pass. But each time we had to climb this road, or descend into the canyon on this road, the pressure I felt getting to and from our destination was stressful because I wanted to make sure I was making the right decisions with my driving to ensure everyone’s safety.

Certainly a car is much easier to maneuver on a steep road than life is. No matter how much I try to control the way I maneuver through life, it just doesn’t seem to get easier. When I was younger and less cautious, I would whip around those turns in life and go for it. Not really thinking about the impact. I wonder some days how I got through it all unscathed. Over time, I have significantly slowed down to a more cautious speed. I want to make the right decisions for myself and my family. I want to make sure that they are all safe. But sometimes, those turns are just too much and I can’t necessarily control all of the elements surrounding me. All I can control is my reaction, how I handle myself in certain situations. That in itself is not the easiest thing. I now have to remember that my decisions ultimately affect a little boy who is sitting in the backseat, trusting me to get him where he needs to go which makes me slow way down and think a little more cautiously about how I approach different situations.

My decisions have led me to even more unexpected twists and turns. Occasionally I have to stop and take a deep breath, but I hold onto the wheel and keep going. It is a very long road that could end at any moment. Life is definitely more interesting when you don’t know what is to come. But some days, I really wouldn’t mind if I could get a straight patch of road for awhile....

This is why I believe in Angels

I have struggled with faith and prayer for many, many years. Probably more years than most people realize. I try to be a positive person…although some days are harder than others. Hope has not come easily for me. But, I do believe that there is a power greater than all of us that can bring hope and peace. I feel that everyone has the right to give this “power” any name they feel is appropriate. I do not believe that anyone has the right to dictate what this “power” is. It is a very personal, very sacred thing for each and every one of us. I respect the beliefs of others in their personal “power”. I will gladly say a prayer for anyone who asks because I do feel it is important when supporting and loving others to help anyway I can. And just because I do not believe in the same philosophies and principles that others do, doesn’t mean that I cannot offer up a prayer for others. Just because my beliefs are different than others, does not mean that I cannot love and support in a way that is most important to the ones I care for most in this world.

With all the struggles I have had with my son recently, I have thought a great deal about this power and how to channel into it so I can find hope and peace. In my moments of worry and grief, the greatest amount of peace I have found is within this power. I still sit back on occasion and say a prayer when I am at a loss of where I can find the peace I need to give me strength to take a step forward. Life is about taking each step, one at a time. Sometimes, I am not sure I can take any more steps. And when I can’t, miraculously, Angels appear.

A few months ago, I was having one of these moments. I didn’t know what to do to make things better for myself. I felt lost in my own life. I didn’t know who I was…yet again. I thought “I’m 35 years old! How can I not know who I am?” I felt like I was failing as a parent. My son was struggling and I didn’t know what to do to help him. My family has felt the effects of the stress. My husband and I were arguing more often than not. I felt like I was on edge all the time. I felt very much alone, ashamed, and not-so-positive. One day when I wanted to just quit, that was the moment I prayed. I sat back, closed my eyes and breathed deeply. My prayer was simple, “please help me get through this.” That was all I said.

Since that time, there have been many small miracles happen in my life, brought by Angels. They are good people who genuinely want to help, who are selfless, have the ability to be supportive without expecting anything in return, or who chose professions simply because they wanted to be in environment where they could make a difference. I am fortunate enough to have all of those types appear in our lives. And I am certain that wasn’t by accident. I am sure there was a higher power involved that brought these good people into my life to help me with my challenges. And my very simple prayer helped me to recognize them and what they were trying to do.

There are so many bad things in this world that so many are reacting to the bad things; it becomes increasingly difficult to notice those things in life that are good and right. The bad things are so loud, so noticeable. The good things are quiet, unassuming, and tend to go unnoticed by most. But without those good things, good people how can any of us find hope and peace?

That power that we believe in, no matter what you name it, is found in every single one of us. I believe in Angels because I believe that the power within in each of us can give us the strength we need to be a support to someone else. If we let go of the fear and selfishness long enough to appreciate the strength we gain from others, it will also give us the ability to choose to be that strength for others when they need it the most. Most of the time we probably don’t even know when we are being that strength for others. My Angels probably have no clue that I have drawn my strength from them or the impact they have had on my life. They have helped me find that hope and peace by helping me find my next steps in my challenges. They have changed my life, my son’s life, and that is powerful. They helped me find a solid ground to stand on so I can feel confident in who I am, find resources that I need to get the answers I need, not only in relation to what is going on with Shane, but for the struggles I have had for myself as well.

I believe that good things aren’t just found in random acts of kindness. The random acts of kindness that seem to draw the most attention, broadcast on the news, and talked about among groups of people. The best things are found in people who are simply….good and kind to others.

I am inspired by these Angels to remember how important it is to be good and kind because I will never know how my influence may have an impact.

For those in my life who have carried me these past few months…Thank you for being my Angels.