When the working mom must travel...

During the first three months of this year, I have traveled on business a lot. I also anticipate that I will travel a little more than I had in the past. For me, there are so many anxieties that go along with traveling. But don’t get me wrong….I LOVE going on business trips.

Growing up and until the last few years, I have always been an introvert. I have started to come out of my introverted ways and learn to become more extroverted through some life lessons. Oftentimes I am afraid of my own shadow. I tend to be afraid to try new things, meet new people, and get outside my comfort zone. When I chose my career, I had no idea that I was going to have to force myself outside of who I was comfortable being in order to attain my goals. Anytime I spoke in front of a group of people about business topics or in meetings, my voice would be shaky and I would get sweaty, hot, red – not pretty at all. Assertiveness has always been challenging for me. Before I leave for a business trip, I get very nervous. I feel as if I’m about to go on a roller coaster ride for the first time. And I love roller coasters. But every time I ride one, I still feel nervous. That is part of the appeal. Getting the butterflies, knowing what to expect but not being certain if I can handle it. It is really scary for me to embark on these trips. Especially to go alone. I am more comfortable having a “wingman” (or woman) that will bring me along, take me under their wing, and introduce me to people. Recently, I was passed up for a promotion because I tend more to sit in the shadows of others rather than assert myself. Well, that was enough to push me away from my fears because I want more for myself than I have in my career. Sure, I am told that I am a valued employee with strong skills (blah, blah, blah). But I have realized that if I want opportunities, no matter how much people appreciate me and respect me in my roll, I have to create those opportunities for myself. In order to create those opportunities, I have to travel a bit.

When I go, I have to trust that things will run the way they should. I have to hope that Shane will not struggle too much without me. I worry that things will not be taken care of properly. Because as most moms know, when mom is gone things just don’t run as smoothly. We love dads, but men aren’t really known for their homemaking or multi-tasking capabilities (I know there are exceptions!). I also usually have to have my wonderful mother-in-law come in to help and if she can’t, I have to hire someone to help our family in my absence. When I return, if everyone survived my absence and the house isn’t turned upside down then I’m happy.

Women often face difficult choices between family and career. We make a lot of sacrifices in our careers for our family and sometimes we must sacrifice a few things in our family for the career. But given the choice, women will often choose family first because it is our nature. I like to think I can have it all. I like to think that I don’t have to sacrifice anything, that I can have the best of both worlds. Very naïve of me, I know. But, I still face those choices often and I am fortunate to work for a company that believes in the “Family First” philosophy. At the end of the day, my career is important to my family. What continue to build for myself in my career has also built some levels of comfort in our home that we would not enjoy without it. So I may have to sacrifice a few things with the family in order to provide for my family, at the same time I get to enjoy what I am doing as well. I am very fortunate to have a supportive family who wants to see me succeed and fortunate to have such a fun career where I can have incredible opportunities for myself.